The Invisible Costs of Being a Woman in Your 30s
By your 30s, you’ve probably got a handle on the basics rent, bills, groceries, a semi-decent skincare routine. But what about the costs you don’t see coming? The ones that quietly stack up, chip away at your savings, and make you question why your pay seems to vanish faster than your 20s did?
Let’s talk about it. Because if you’ve ever thought, “Where does my money even go?” you’re not alone. And honestly? A lot of it isn’t your fault.
1. Fertility pressure tax
Whether you want kids or not, you’re likely thinking about fertility in your 30s. That alone has a price tag. Maybe you’re shelling out for hormone tests “just to check,” freezing eggs as a backup plan, or spending $300 on supplements because TikTok said they help.
Even if you’re not spending on fertility directly, the mental load of planning your life around biology you can’t control? That’s a cost too.
2. Beauty expectations that somehow escalated
Remember when a $20 moisturiser felt luxurious? Now it's retinol, hyaluronic acid, SPF 50+, gua sha, serums for AM and PM, and a "cosmeceutical" eye cream. The beauty industry knows we’re more cashed-up than we were at 22, and it’s not subtle about it.
Botox? Laser? Hair removal that’s “permanent” but weirdly never ends? That’s hundreds—if not thousands—every year, just to feel like you’re keeping up.
3. Weddings, babies, hens, repeat
In your 30s, everyone else’s milestones become your budget problem. Wedding gifts. Destination hens. Baby shower presents. Matching pyjamas for a bridal party you’re only in because you once sat next to the bride in Year 10 science.
You might be hitting your own goals too, but it feels like the second you get ahead, there’s another group chat and another Afterpay order waiting.
4. Workplace penalties (even when they’re subtle)
The gender pay gap? Still there. But it gets sneakier in your 30s. You’re less likely to be promoted if your employer thinks you might go on maternity leave soon. You’re expected to step up at work but not “too much” or you’re intimidating. And if you do take time out for kids, good luck catching up on super.
And speaking of super by this point, the gap’s already real. Women retire with almost 25% less than men on average in Australia, and your 30s are prime time to change that (if you even can).
5. The 'helping out' trap
You might be more financially secure now, which sometimes makes you the unofficial emergency fund for others. Lending money to a sibling. Helping your parents with bills. Being the one who “can afford it” when your friend’s struggling.
It’s not always huge, but it adds up. And it’s often done quietly, without acknowledgement, because that’s just what we do.
6. Time is money, and we’re giving it away
Even when we’re not spending money, we’re spending time. On unpaid emotional labour. On managing the household even if we’re not the only adult in it. On being the group organiser, the reminder sender, the one who keeps the ship running.
And yes, that costs us. In energy, in rest, in the time we could be spending building businesses, upskilling, or actually relaxing.
So what do we do about it?
A few things:
Track it. Not just your spending, but your emotional and mental labour too. Get clear on where your time, money, and energy go.
Plan ahead. Super, savings, emergency funds they matter more than ever right now.
Set boundaries. With family, friends, partners, and your job. Especially your job.
Invest in yourself. Skills, courses, therapy, health. Not because you should be better, but because you deserve to feel supported.
Your 30s can be empowering. But only if we stop pretending we’re playing on a level field and start factoring in the real cost of being a woman.
***Please remember our blogs aren’t intended as financial advice - they’re intended only as a starting point to give you a little extra info! For more in-depth advice catered to your personal financial position, please see a certified financial advisor.